Now
For K there are three times: past, present and future. In her language, they are now, yesterday and today. For example, if you ask K what she did this morning, she will tell you that yesterday she went to visit a friend, even if she visited a friend this morning. If I tell her that this afternoon we are going to the supermarket. She will tell me that tomorrow we are going to the supermarket. R was born yesterday. Her birthday is tomorrow. And now is now.
If I need her to understand when something is going to happen, I have to use times like "when you wake up" or "when it gets dark." Days of the week, months of the years, hours, and years don't exist for her. For K there is no real future that she can understand. The past is too abstract. She lives in the now.
Much talk is said about us learning to live in the now. As a culture, we live our lives in the future - looking forward to vacations, to the end of the work day, to finishing a degree. Happiness is always just beyond the next project or change. Children are happy because they live in the now. They enjoy every waking moment, never thinking that what might happen in a little bit might be even better. Children eat dessert first, not saving any for later. They jump in puddles, not caring if their socks get wet. They laugh loud and play hard with friends, not caring that they must soon separate.
I, too, am trying to live in the now. It is all too easy to count the months away until the baby will walk/ talk/ sleep through the night. To put our heads down and plod ahead, waiting for things to get easier. But then you never really live. Your happiness is just beyond the bend and in the meanwhile you haven't enjoyed what the present has to offer. I am the first person to agree that being a parent to a small child is exhausting, extremely exhausting. But to view this short period of time as a storm to weather, diminishes all the joy. I try to look above the piles of laundry and dishes, to see full bellies and warm bodies. When they are both screaming, tired from a long day, I revel in the moment, and not that they will soon be asleep, but, rather, that they are both here with me now. And just thanking G-d for their presence is enough to get me through a difficult moment. Diving into the now makes you appreciate what you really have and to understand how precious is it.
If I need her to understand when something is going to happen, I have to use times like "when you wake up" or "when it gets dark." Days of the week, months of the years, hours, and years don't exist for her. For K there is no real future that she can understand. The past is too abstract. She lives in the now.
Much talk is said about us learning to live in the now. As a culture, we live our lives in the future - looking forward to vacations, to the end of the work day, to finishing a degree. Happiness is always just beyond the next project or change. Children are happy because they live in the now. They enjoy every waking moment, never thinking that what might happen in a little bit might be even better. Children eat dessert first, not saving any for later. They jump in puddles, not caring if their socks get wet. They laugh loud and play hard with friends, not caring that they must soon separate.
I, too, am trying to live in the now. It is all too easy to count the months away until the baby will walk/ talk/ sleep through the night. To put our heads down and plod ahead, waiting for things to get easier. But then you never really live. Your happiness is just beyond the bend and in the meanwhile you haven't enjoyed what the present has to offer. I am the first person to agree that being a parent to a small child is exhausting, extremely exhausting. But to view this short period of time as a storm to weather, diminishes all the joy. I try to look above the piles of laundry and dishes, to see full bellies and warm bodies. When they are both screaming, tired from a long day, I revel in the moment, and not that they will soon be asleep, but, rather, that they are both here with me now. And just thanking G-d for their presence is enough to get me through a difficult moment. Diving into the now makes you appreciate what you really have and to understand how precious is it.
posted by jo @ 8:31 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home