Fashion

Before K was born, I read a lot of books related to feminism. I took some gender studies classes in University. I felt connected to the mindset. So when I found out I was having a girl, I had a lot to worry about. As one parent wrote on their babyshower invitation, "No pink and no plastic, please." That was what I wanted to write across the sky. NO PINK and NO PLASTIC. Only I couldn't dictate such things. After the birth, we were inundated with frills, lace, pink this and pink that, bows, butterflies and fluffy bunnies. And my daughter, she definitely was not a girly-girl. To balance the color scheme, I bought only blue, green, red or yellow. Nothing matched. I shopped in the boy's section. I didn't want my daughter to be labelled a girl. I wanted her to have all the options of a boy - to run, shout and fight without tights getting in the way. I wanted her to be able to be loud, aggressive and to climb trees if she wanted; for her to love her body, to be fearless and smart. I hid the girly clothes in the back of the drawers. I took them out when all her normal clothes were dirty or when we had a special occasion to go to.
Then K asked for a skirt. "A what?" I asked, thinking maybe I hadn't heard right. "Like Mommy," she said. I fished around in the back of her dresser - no skirts there. Nothing her size. All the frilly stuff was too small and I certainly hadn't bought her anything girly. Not knowing what to do, I discussed the situation with a friend of mine, a mother to two girls. She told me how you dress is a language. You are sending out a message to the world. You need to teach your daughter this language, make her aware of the messages she is sending. Then let her decide how she wants to dress. My friend buys all sorts of clothes, different styles, cuts, colors. She tells her girls where they are going and what the weather will be like. The girls need to find something appropriate to wear.
I decided to do the same. I bought and received all sorts of dresses and skirts. I let K decide what she wants to wear. I was shocked! She chose colors I don't like. She chose things I would never wear. She doesn't have the same taste as I do, at all. She likes bold colors and patterns. She likes wearing dresses, skirts and tights. In fact, everyday she wears a dress. Every single day. And I am letting her. If only she would agree to pig tails.